Experiencing Fear

Dear Christian Sisters and Brothers,

Have you experienced fear or anxiety during this 2020 pandemic?

Fear and the Pandemic

Fear of getting sick with COVID-19? Fear of someone you love getting sick?

Fear of needing to go to the hospital for another health issue with so many others being treated there with COVID-19?

Fear of getting sick and not having family there to help in your time of need?

Fear of judgment and being ostracized because you’re sneezing, which is likely a reaction to pollen rather than a virus?

Fear of losing your job? or fear because you’ve already lost your job, and you’re not sure how you’re going to pay bills?

Many people have been sitting in fear for the last two months. But there is another way to experience the 2020 pandemic—and any other life test thrown your way: The Hope of Christ.

Agape Love Casts Out Fear

You’ve heard this many times before in church, I’m sure. But have you figured out how to practically apply this promise to your own life?

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. 

The Apostle John (1 John 4:18 NASB)

God is love (1 John 4:8, 16). He casts out fear. Have you allowed God to cast out your fear?

I spent many years as a non-believer and as a believer worrying. For those of you who know my story, you know that a great deal of my worrying has been about my siblings’ schizophrenia and its effect on their lives, my parents’ lives, and my own.

Almost twenty years ago, I found and sought refuge in these verses:

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Jesus (Matthew 6:33-34 NASB)

“Seek first His kingdom”—at first, I didn’t know what that meant. I read this Bible verse every night and every other verse I could find about fear.

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

The Apostle Peter (1 Peter 5:7 NIV)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The Apostle Paul (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV)

The more I read these verses, the more calm I was. Then I finally understood that to “seek first His kingdom” was to first seek God. So then I did more Bible reading and prayer.

But I was not consistent. And even though I learned that lesson while worried about my brother’s safety (because he was homeless at the time), I would not apply that same lesson to other situations, like moving across the country from the Midwest to The South or finding the right schooling for my children.

It wasn’t until just two years ago when once again I had the challenge of my brother’s mental illness that I figured out how to be calm in all circumstances. Now when I’m facing the unknown, the uncertain, I praise God from Whom all blessings flow!

Worshiping through Every Battle

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!
Praise Him all creatures here below!
Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts!
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost!
Amen

(You can read my whole story in the book ReTested: The Story of a Post-Abortive Woman Called to Change the Conversation.)

I speak and write about abortion. Everyone has an emotional reaction to abortion. Not everyone responds favorably to what I have to say.

I am attacked spiritually all the time because clearly satan doesn’t like what I have to say. I’m pretty sure that someone who disagrees with me messed with my car tires.

My response? To praise God. Why? Because when I focus on Him and His love for me, my fear doesn’t have a chance to take root.

But I do not fear. I refuse to fear. I refuse to agree with fear. Because satan loves it when we fear, and God’s agape love casts out all fear.

I have made a choice—a choice not to fear.

Fear and Abortion

Women with crisis pregnancies experience fear. Their fears are not unlike the fears concerning the pandemic.

  • Fear of morning sickness or more serious pregnancy complications
  • Fear of the pain and potential complications of giving birth
  • Fear of the hospital
  • Fear of raising a child with disabilities
  • Fear of not having family there to help in her time of need
  • Fear of the baby daddy not supporting her (emotionally or financially)
  • Fear of being tethered to the baby daddy for the rest of her life
  • Fear of judgment and being ostracized
  • Fear of losing her job or fear because she already lost her job, and she’s not sure how she’s going to pay bills
  • Fear of being passed over for promotion

Often, the pro-life movement stands in anger. Yes, we should be angry about the slaughter of pre-born babies. It’s murder. It’s a holocaust.

But let us not forget that God loves these women just as much as He loves their babies. Let us be sure that we show God’s agape loves to the women (and men) who are making choices.

Here are four things you can do right now:

  • Create a new contact in your phone for your local pregnancy resource center so that you can refer women and men. Many offer pregnancy and STI/STD testing, parenting resources, and post-abortion healing. Find out what they offer. Take a tour once your state opens up.
    In the U.S., search Care Net for the center near you.
    Internationally, search Heartbeat International for the center near you.
  • Donate your time, talent, or treasure to your pregnancy resource center. Every dollar counts. If all you have is $20, then give $20. If you have 2 hours to collect diapers, then spend 2 hours. If you have time to share their social media posts, do it. If you have time to create social media posts, contact them!
  • Post on social media or in whatever groups you belong, saying something like this: “If you or someone you know has fear about pregnancy, please reach out to me privately so that I can help you find the support you need.” When they do contact you privately, refer them to your local pregnancy resource center, which you already have saved in your contacts.
  • Share this blog post with other pro-life Christians, especially those who are fearful or those who are angry about abortion.

Lord, bless every reader with the knowledge and acceptance of Your agape love, which casts out all fear. Guide them into believing Your love rather than agreeing with fear. Lead them from the temptation to give power to the evil one. May they glorify You in all things.

Worship to End Abortion: 40 Daily Prayers is a prayer booklet that leads you to pray and worship for the end of abortion. Later this year, I will release the full book. It’ll make a great study that you can do on your own or with a group. Stay tuned!

In Christ,

Cheryl

What the Pandemic Can Teach Us about Abortion

Dear Christian Sisters & Brothers,

How did you feel when we first received “shelter in place” orders? Fearful of getting sick? Afraid you would lose your job?

Fear

Welcome to the world of fear. Very real fear.

Fear in the Pandemic

  • Who will be able to help you if you were to get sick?
  • How will you get critical supplies, like toilet paper, tissues, and paper towels?
  • What happens if your car breaks down, and you aren’t able to get to the store?
  • If you lose your job, how are you going to pay for your home? for whatever groceries you can find?
  • Are you separated from those you love? parents? grandparents? children?
  • Or are you in an abusive relationship and now stuck at home with this person?
  • Who are your true friends and relatives who will see you through this challenging time?

Fear in Crisis Pregnancy

Welcome to the world of crisis pregnancy. A world full of very real fear.

All that fear and anxiety you and others have had about the pandemic are very much like what women feel when they are facing single parenthood or having a child with special needs.

  • Who will be willing to help them?
  • Will they have the money needed to buy diapers, food, and clothes?
  • Will they be able to work with morning sickness or extra weight on their feet?
  • Will they lose their job or their promotion?
  • Are they in an abusive relationship and now feel even more stuck with this guy?
  • Who are their true friends and relatives who will see them through this challenging time?

Fear of Separation

Some of you may say, “she should put her child up for adoption,” but women intuitively know how hard it will be to separate from their babies. Many mistakenly think it’ll be emotionally easier to abort than to put their babies up for adoption.

Fear of Being Alone

And, frankly, more than anything, they don’t want to feel alone. They feel isolated, cut off from society. They feel like others shy away from them like they are contagious.

Your focus is on the baby rather than on them, and they know it.

Profiteering

Profiteering in the Pandemic

Two Tennessee brothers, foreseeing the demand for hand sanitizer, drove across Tennessee and Kentucky buying up all the hand sanitizer they could find. Why? So that they could resell it at higher prices because of the COVID19-created high demand.

Until ebay and Amazon refused to partner with them and the Attorney General shut them down, they intended to profiteer from people’s fears.

Profiteering in Crisis Pregnancy

Planned Parenthood, in 1969, had no plans to get into the abortion business. NARAL invited them to partner in campaigning for the legalization of abortion, but Planned Parenthood said no. Then in 1970, New York legalized abortion and women flooded into New York because the free-love movement resulted in crisis pregnancies and because women did not have equal rights to work or the right to demand child support. (See History of Abortion on my website.)

Planned Parenthood saw the money and partnered with NARAL and then got into the abortion business. Planned Parenthood profiteers from people’s fears.

Which companies partner with them? So, so many. And, of course, the government doesn’t shut them down, but at least the federal government—which is in debt—is reducing its financial support of this non-profit that plans to spend $45 million to back pro-Roe candidates in the 2020 elections.

Social Distancing

But would abortion really even be an issue if people were social distancing?

You can’t kiss with a mask on.

Agape Love vs Fear

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear. (1 John 4:18a NASB)

Agape love casts out fear.

Agape love is different than making love. Making love is eros love—you know, the Greek word that is the basis of our word erotica.

But agape love is different than eros love. Agape love is the desire to do good to others.

God is agape love. (1 John 4:8, 16)

Love Is Patient. Love Is Kind.

  • God is patient.
  • God is kind.
  • God does not envy.
  • God does not brag.
  • God is not arrogant.
  • God does not behave rudely.
  • God is not self-seeking.
  • God is not easily angered.
  • God keeps no record of wrongs.
  • God does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth.
  • God bears all things.
  • God trusts.
  • God always hopes.
  • God always perseveres.
  • God never fails.

Let’s be like God.

I Am Patient. I am Kind.

Lord,

You are love. Thank You for loving me through all things and all circumstances. Fill my heart with Your love, which casts out all fear. Give me peace in the pandemic.

Make me the hands and feet of Your love here on earth—on earth as it is in heaven.

Lord, introduce me to the crisis pregnancy center near my home and near my work so that I know where to find help for women and men in crisis.

Introduce me to organizations like Embrace Grace, which provides support to women through local churches so that they are not alone.

Show me how you want me to use my time, talent, or treasure to support women and men in crisis.

Make me brave enough to share on social media my willingness to listen, mentor, and support women and men in crisis.

Fill women and men in crisis with Your love, which casts out all fear. Give them peace in their pregnancies. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen!

In Christ,

Cheryl

2020 Year of Pro-Life Men?

Dear Christians Sisters and Brothers,

Abby Johnson declared 2020 the year of the man’s voice in the abortion debate.

But pro-choice women will just continue to get mad at pro-life men–just ask Alyssa Milano.

What we need are pro-life men teaching pro-abortion men! Because men have a great deal to gain by keeping abortion legal.

With abortion, a man doesn’t have to pay child support.

With abortion, a man doesn’t have to take time to parent his children.

With abortion, a man can walk away from the relationship at any time.

Children tie a man down.

So what we really need is to convince men to change their thinking–to be pro-life.

According to a study by Care Net, men are the most influential on a woman’s choice. So even though women don’t want to admit it, baby daddies are the biggest influencer.

We need good Christian men influencing spiritually lost men for life and for Christ.

In Christ,

Cheryl

The Consequences of Unconfessed Sin

Dear Christian Sisters & Brothers,

This is a continuation of The Spiritual Consequences of Abortion Series, which includes:

Today, we continue to how King David described the consequences of unconfessed sin.

Despite David’s efforts to cover up his sin, the fighting men seem to have figured out that David had Uriah killed given that Bathsheba’s father was one of the mighty men (2 Samuel 23:34; 11:3) and that her grandfather Ahithophel later conspired against David (2 Samuel 15:31).

Certainly, those working in David’s palace knew that David got Bathsheba pregnant (2 Samuel 11:3-4) and tried to fool Uriah (2 Samuel 11:8-10, 13).

Perhaps all the people in Jerusalem figured out David’s sins (because not all rumors are false) but were afraid to say anything.

Until Nathan confronts David, the king thinks he has gotten away with his sins of extra-marital sex and murder (2 Samuel 11:27).

David Confessed His Sins

After Nathan explains things, David immediately takes responsibility and confesses his sin (2 Samuel 12:1-13).

As you know, David sang nearly half the Psalms. I say sang because psalm means song. Did he write them before he sang them, or did he sing them and then write them down? We don’t know.

But after he takes responsibility for what he did, David goes into the Tent of Meeting and sings his confession, as recorded in Psalm 51.

He also sings Psalm 32. In Psalm 32, David elegantly described what happened while he had unconfessed sin:

When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer. I acknowledged my sin to You and my iniquity I did not hide. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord”; and You forgave the guilt of my sin. (Psalm 32:3-5 NASB, emphasis mine)

From Psalm 32 and from Psalm 51, we learn what happens when we murder and commit adultery:

  • When we keep silent about our sin, our bodies waste away (Psalm 32:3).
  • The Lord’s hand is heavy upon us (Psalm 32:4).
  • Our vitality is drained away (Psalm 32:4).
  • We yearn to hear joy and gladness again (Psalm 51:8).
  • We can’t wait for our broken bones to rejoice (Psalm 51:8).
  • We want to be renewed with a steadfast spirit (Psalm 51:10).
  • We want to feel the Holy Spirit within us (Psalm 51:11).
  • We want to be restored with the joy of salvation (Psalm 51:12).

More Holy Spirit!

Like King David, once we have confessed we can feel the Holy Spirit within us, and perhaps then other people will see that we have more fruit of the Spirit—

  • love
  • joy
  • peace
  • patience
  • kindness
  • goodness
  • faithfulness
  • gentleness
  • self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)

But there’s more! In Luke 11:13, Jesus gives us permission to ask for even more of the Holy Spirit.

Join me tomorrow when I connect the whole series, explaining how the story of David, Bathsheba, and Uriah relates to the spiritual consequences of abortion.

In Christ,

Cheryl

Listen to Alyssa Milano

Dear Christian Sisters and Brothers,

On Sunday, Alyssa Milano told her abortion story on her podcast. Some news outlets reported on it, including the LA Times, Us Weekly, and FOX.

Rather than getting mad at her for justifying what she did (for I, too, had an abortion), let’s read what Alyssa actually said (which I transcribed from her podcost):

I was on the pill, taking birth control, because I knew that I was not ready to be a parent… Also, at that time, I was taking a drug called Accutane. Accutane is an acne medicine that is so likely to cause birth defects if taken by a pregnant woman that the FDA now requires doctors, pharmacists, and women to sign up to a registry before dispensing it. So using contraception was doubly important to me.

And I still got pregnant.

It was devastating. I was raised Catholic and was suddenly put in conflict with my faith, faith I was coming to realize empowered only men to make every single decision about what was allowed and what was not allowed…

I chose to have an abortion I chose. It was my choice. And it was absolutely the right choice for me. It was not an easy choice. It was not something I wanted, but it was something that I needed, like most health care is.

I refuse to let anyone else’s bullshit morality force me into a life of premarital celibacy. I refuse to live in the narrative that sexual pleasure is for men and that women exist to deliver that pleasure. My body gives me pleasure. Sexually connecting with my partner gave me pleasure. No one would say that he was at fault for enjoying sex with me, but you can be damn sure that the men enacting these laws think less of me for deriving the same pleasure from him…

They tell you that the pill is 99% effective at preventing pregnancies and yet [here, she let’s out a big sigh] a few months later, I found out that I was pregnant again. So, I had done what I knew to do to prevent pregnancy and was still pregnant. So once again, I made the right decision to end that pregnancy…

The assault against women’s bodies has forced me to reflect on what I would’ve lost if I never had my abortions. I would not have my children… I would not have my career… I would never have met my amazing husband David… I would never have been free to be myself… That’s what this freedom is about: freedom. Freedom from oppression. Freedom for women to have the audacity to be equally sexual beings as men. freedom for women to live the life they were meant to have not just the life that is thrust upon them by a pregnancy that cannot exist in their life.

Listening to Alyssa tell her story is heartbreaking for me because…

  • I hear the pain in her voice.
  • I hear her regret for being pregnant and her regret of being faced with a choice.
  • I hear her anger toward patriarchy and inequality and hypocrisy.
  • I hear her heartbreak that she was twice in the 1% of birth control failure when she expected to be in the 99%.
  • I hear the anger for Christianity, which she sees as favoring men.

It’s heartbreaking to hear because I once thought like she does.

Regret about Pregnancy

I remember that I was more upset about being pregnant and having to choose than I was about the abortion itself. I blamed everyone else for my pregnancy rather than taking responsibility for choosing to have sex, which exists for procreation (whether you believe in creationism or evolution).

So, I was mad that sex did what it was supposed to do—make babies.

Do you hear that from Alyssa, too? What does that tell you about our sex education programs?

Inequality & Hypocrisy

When I hear Alyssa’s anger at inequality and hypocrisy, I want to cheer her on! Why? Because men are historically seen as studs when they get women pregnant, but women pregnant out-of-wedlock have been seen as whores. That hypocrisy makes me mad.

The reality is that men can have sex with multiple women with little consequence compared to the consequences for women. Women are at much higher risk for STIs/STDs because they are on the receiving end.

Women are the ones who get pregnant while men can walk away—and many men do, and many men have. Then the woman has to find him and fight for financial support.

If he’s not a nice guy, then she has to hide to protect herself and her child.

If she’s not interested in him any more, then she doesn’t want a child to keep her forever connected to him.

For the pro-choice movement, abortion is an equality issue. Alyssa says it in her podcast. The guests she quoted in her podcast say it. Can you see why?

Men have hurt women. Men have a reputation for hurting women, not protecting them.

So, when Alyssa and others in the pro-choice movement see male legislators writing anti-abortion laws, she does not see them as protecting her but as hurting her in yet another way.

What’s the answer?

One answer is for men to improve their reputation.

Oh, how I would like to hear a male, pro-life politician apologize for all the men who have not stood up to their responsibilities and to call for men to do better.

Men who are good men need to be mentoring other men—of every age. They need to be good dads to their sons and daughters. They need to teach their sons and especially their daughters what to look for in a spouse and what to watch out for when dating.

Women who are married to good men need to be heralding their husbands to their children and their friends publicly so that society hears that there are good men out there.

I’ll start! Russ is an awesome provider who would never run away from his children. Actually, Russ would have chosen to stop after our first was born because he felt too old to have our second one, but he never considered aborting. Today, our second boy is a chip off the old block. They truly enjoy their relationship.

(Follow Love Harder Marriage Coaching for more positive stories about husbands and fathers.)

Equality or Bondage?

The irony is that Alyssa and my former self see premarital sex and abortion as an equality issue, but I now see premarital sex and abortion as a bondage issue.

Roe v Wade was decided by men. What does legalized abortion allow? It allows men to have more extra-marital sex without consequences of providing for their children.

  • The baby daddy is the number one influence on a woman’s choice to abort.
  • Fathers, even Christian fathers, bring their daughters to abortion clinics.
  • Abusers bring women to abortion clinics.
  • Men bring their underage girlfriends to abortion clinics.
  • Sex traffickers bring women to abortion clinics.

That’s not equity. That’s bondage.

If we want abortion to be unthinkable, then we need to be talking to men, influencing men, to do better. I’m a mother of two boys. I’m starting at home.

Hollywood

Here’s another irony in what Alyssa has to say. At the time of her abortions, Alyssa was on the “women-empowering” show Charmed. She was one of three female stars of the TV series, which was created by a woman.

If Hollywood executives had written her out of the series for being pregnant, wouldn’t we have screamed women’s oppression? and inequality in the workplace?

Alyssa’s boyfriend/fiance—whom she did not call out, but I will: Scott Wolf—certainly had the money to support their child. She had enough money to raise their child or to put their baby up for adoption. So what was the concern?

The concern is that Alyssa’s career would’ve been ruined.

Don’t be surprised by this. Hollywood was paying for / providing abortions to actresses long before Roe v Wade.

Further, Lisa Whelchel, a Christian, who was on the TV show “The Facts of Life” (1979-88) talked about how she was given a scale and expected to weigh in every day. Skinniness is not just expected but demanded in Hollywood. Pregnancy messes that up.

In contrast, Gal Gadot, who played “Wonder Woman” in the recent DC Extended Universe movie, filmed several scenes while pregnant. Note that she had a female director.

But I wonder if Alyssa has ever talked to Taraji P Henson, who didn’t let her toddler or her status as a single mother stop her from becoming a multiple award winning actress.

“What if I believed those people who told me when I became pregnant in college that I wouldn’t finish? I walked across that stage with my son on my hip.” ~Taraji P. Henson, “Empire” and “Hidden Figures”

1% not 99%

I hear Alyssa upset that both of her unwanted pregnancies were from the 1% ineffectiveness of the pill.

This makes me wonder if Alyssa ever took math. I wonder if so many people in the pro-choice movement took math. I wonder how I was so blind when I was pro-choice.

The thinking is that we did everything to prevent pregnancy, so why are we pregnant? But we didn’t do everything to prevent pregnancy because if we had, we wouldn’t be pregnant. What? What’s that? It’s called abstinence.

Women and men, don’t be surprised if you’re having sex and get pregnant. It’s called biology.

Patriarchy & the Church

Did you notice that Alyssa looks at the Catholic church, and therefore the Pope, as male oppression? The same could be said of Protestant churches that do not allow female pastors. This is certainly how I felt.

Again, I find this ironic, because if Christians were actually not having sex outside of marriage, then Alyssa wouldn’t think that what Pope Paul VI said in Humanae Vitae (1968) or what Pope John Paul II said in Theology of the Body (1979-1984) favored men rather than women.

And no, I’m not Catholic.

When the Holy Spirit first tapped on my shoulder (on my first Uganda mission trip) about speaking boldly about abortion, I had just said to two male pastors, “Women don’t want to hear this message from men. You don’t understand. There’s no way you can understand. Women need to hear from women.”

So, we women need to speak up. And when we do, we need to be clear that we have not been convinced by “male oppressors” but instead by scientific research.

And men, you need to talk to men because their influence is much larger than the pro-choice movement is willing to admit. Teach men to be men, to step up, to provide, to be responsible, to father well.

Sex is the responsibility of both men and women.

  • Both have a choice.
  • Both are smart enough to realize that even 1% ineffectiveness can result in pregnancy.
  • Both have a responsibility to provide for the child they helped to create.

Me Too, Alyssa. Sorry, Not Sorry.

Alyssa ended her podcast saying, “I, for one, will never stop using my voice. Sorry, not sorry.”

Yeah, me too, Alyssa—not that I have your pretty face, your slim figure, or your Hollywood credentials, for I am just a woman who listens to both sides, discusses rather than rants, reasons with others out of love rather than self-justification, and who votes her values.

I vote for abundant life not just for babies, but for women.

My body. My choice. It’s my body, and with it I will worship the Lord.

MybodyMyworshipBROWN

In Christ,

Cheryl

P.S. The video at the top of the FOX news article is from May 2019 and is demeaning—please don’t applaud FOX or Tucker Carlson for that awful interview with Mark Steyn. We don’t win this battle by belittling but through love.

Abortion Hurts Women Spiritually

Dear Christian Sisters and Brothers,

This headline makes me so angry! No wonder so many women in The Church abort—they are not hearing the truth!

36% of women who abort go to church at least once per month (Care-Net 2016).

Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of Christ. (Romans 10:17 NASB)

So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32 ESV)

As a post-abortive woman myself, let me explain what abortion does to women spiritually.

I have yet to hear the following message in any Sanctity of Life sermon, but every woman and man needs to hear it.

God is Holy, and He Hates Sin

God has set standards for how we are to live, not because He wants to control us or take away our fun but because He loves us as a perfect Father does.

Now, we do not have perfect fathers here on earth, and many of you have broken relationships with your imperfect fathers. I realize that our broken view of fatherhood makes it difficult to see God as a loving Father, but perhaps you can imagine with me.

Anyone remember the TV show Leave It to Beaver? Remember how the father worked hard, provided for his family, and loved his wife and his boys?

How about the father in the Brady Bunch?

My Three Sons?

How about Liam Neeson’s character in the “Taken” series of movies? Clearly he’s imperfect but fiercely protective of his virgin daughter.

God, as Our Father, Creates Standards for Us Because He Loves Us

God is love. (1 John 4:8)

From the Old Testament to the New, God removed the food standards (all the standards for eating kosher foods), but He did not remove the moral standards. We can read these moral standards in the 10 Commandments and other places.

Jesus reiterated the 10 Commandments by telling His Jewish audience to love God and love people.

When our parents create boundaries for us—or standards—we know that if we do not follow their rules, we will experience consequences, such as a time-out when we’re little or losing privileges when we’re teenagers.

God, our loving Father, taught parents to create standards because that’s what He does. We are to reflect His fatherhood. We are imperfect people and therefore imperfect parents (just ask my boys), so we do not reflect God perfectly, but we are called to try.

God’s standards include keeping sex within marriage and not murdering. (Before you get mad at me, remember that I have not kept either of these standards.)

If you need a reminder of the Bible verses that show these standards, see the links below to my other websites:

Best Pro-Life Bible Verses

Bible Verses on Sexual Immorality

So, what happens when we break God’s standards? I think the best example is to look at King David’s life.

David and Bathsheba

David’s whole story shows us a man of great faith (God calls Him a man after His own heart [Acts 13:22]) but also a man of a great imperfections.

Let’s look at what happens to David when he does not keep sex within marriage and then murders to cover his sin.

You are probably familiar with David and Bathsheba’s story, but let me give you a quick reminder. The short version is that David used his kingly power to have sex with another man’s wife and then killed the man to cover up his sin (see 2 Samuel 11).

Today in the United States, you might expect a rich man to offer his mistress money for an abortion or even pressure her into having an abortion. But that’s not what David does.

Why not? Because the Hebrews valued babies.

Until Nathan confronts David, the king thinks he has gotten away with his sin of extra-marital sex and of murder.

After Nathan explains things, David immediately takes responsibility and confesses his sin (see 2 Samuel 12).

The Spiritual Consequences of Murder and Adultery

David then goes into the Tent of Meeting and sings his confession, as recorded in Psalm 51. He also sings Psalm 32. From these two Psalms, we learn what happens when we murder and commit adultery:

  • When we keep silent about our sin, our bodies waste away. (Ps 32:3)
  • The Lord’s hand is heavy upon us. (Ps 32:4)
  • Our vitality is drained away. (Ps 32:4)
  • We yearn to hear joy and gladness again. (Ps 51:8)
  • We can’t wait for our broken bones to rejoice. (Ps 51:8)
  • We want to feel the Holy Spirit within us. (Ps 51:11)
  • We want to be renewed with a steadfast spirit. (Ps 51:10)
  • We want to be restored with the joy of salvation. (Ps 51:12)

Why do we desire the Holy Spirit? Because when we have more of the Holy Spirit, we have more fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal 5:22-23).

In my memoir, ReTested, I explain my 14 or so years between my abortion and my confession as walking through life dead inside. I called myself “the walking dead” before there was a TV show by that name!

Pastoral Leadership

So, Methodist, Baptist, Lutheran, Presbyterian, and United Church of Christ pastors in Tennessee, when you tell women that it’s okay to abort, you are telling them that it’s okay to live separated from God, that God doesn’t mind that they murdered, that it’s okay to walk around like zombies.

The truth is that Jesus came to set us free (Galatians 5:1) and so that we can have abundant life (John 10:10). Abortion does not result in abundant life. It results in drained vitality (Psalm 32:4; John 10:10).

Your letter to Tennessee Gov. Bill Lee is not the kind of leadership we women deserve. We deserve to be:

  • taught the truth (John 8:31-32; Acts 17:10-11).
  • gently rebuked like Nathan gently rebuked David (2 Samuel 12) and Jesus gently rebuked the woman at the well (John 4:4-42) and the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11).
  • taught the path to renewed vitality (Matthew 6:12-15) so that we can live abundantly (John 10:10).

Further, for those women who do not believe that Jesus is the Christ who died for our sins (Romans 5:8), was raised from the dead (Romans 10:9-10), and today sits at the right hand of God, you are telling them that it’s okay to be forever separated from their babies and spend eternity separated from God.

And just to appeal to the practical nature of running your local church, if you want women to serve in the church, get them freed from their sins.

Freedom Is Available, and It’s Awesome!

If you have been involved in an abortion—whether you had one yourself or “supported” a woman through one—you can have your vitality renewed, like I did.

The path to renewed vitality is confession (Matthew 6:12, 14-15) and returning to God (John 8:11).

We protestants do not spend enough time talking about the benefits of confession. Let me just tell you from my own experience that confession and forgiveness results in freedom and abundant life!

And freedom is awesome!

Post-Abortion Healing Is Available!

Post-abortion healing classes are offered through pregnancy centers and some churches using curricula like Surrendering the Secret and Forgiven and Set Free. The Catholic Church offers Project Rachel.

Men who have pressured a woman, drove her to the clinic, or paid for the abortion need healing, too. Some pregnancy centers offer classes for them as well. A common curriculum is Healing a Father’s Heart.

The links to books above are affiliate links. Any remuneration that I receive from affiliate links are used to pay for my three websites: CherylKrichbaum.blog, MybodyMyworship.org, and FacesofAbortion.com. Please contact me if you have any questions.

In Christ,

Cheryl

40 Days of Prayer: Day 2

Dear Christian Sisters,

Let us continue to pray as one voice as my friend Heidi leads us.

Heavenly Father,

Our hearts are still torn and shocked and we continue to grope about for some semblance of understanding. Nationwide, people are mourning, expressing outrage, blinking in bewilderment. How did we let this happen? How do we go from here?

Today I pray for the tiny ones, warm and at perfect rest whose mothers are entering the clinic. Those tiny ones whose mothers just don’t know–or are repressing the knowledge. I pray for your comfort to blanket these babies. Help them to not be afraid and to not feel the pain. Send your Spirit to mitigate the evil and to make the journey with them straight into eternity, so they are never alone.

Oh Lord of LIFE, your authority is total, and we lay ourselves before you. Please forgive us. Please remove this horror from our land and bring a swift end to the era of (legalized) abortion in the United States.

All the Glory be unto You, Almighty God.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen

In Christ,

Cheryl

Movie Rated R for Abortion Scenes

Dear Christian Sisters,

The movie “Unplanned” is rated R for scenes of abortion. How ironic is that?

While the filmmakers were certain they were making a PG-13 film, the MPAA has informed them that it will, in fact, be rated R unless all scenes of abortions are removed or altered.

Check out the story by The Hollywood Reporter.

My opinion? If your children are receiving sex education, then they should see “Unplanned.” I will be taking my pre-teen and teen boys.

Be sure to check out the movie trailer, and put March 29 on your calendar as movie night.

In Christ,

Cheryl

A Different Kind of #ShoutYourAbortion Movement

#Shoutyourabortion claims that abortion is no big deal because everyone does it. The truth is that 92% of post-abortive women experience emotional deadening.

Dear Christian Sisters,

Let me start by apologizing for not writing to you for so many months. I have been absent from my blog because I’ve been walking through more life tests. Although the Lord has been faithful to lead me through these tests, my ability to hear His will for this blog has been muffled.

Until this morning.

Early Morning Quiet Time with God

Until today, I have been sleeping in over the summer, having my quiet time with the Lord after breakfast. Lately, I’ve been struggling to get back on my early morning schedule because I am a night person. However, I know that my early morning prayer time makes the school year go so much more smoothly, so I need to get back on track.

This morning, though, I had no problem waking up. No coffee needed! The Lord woke me up at 5:30 am with very clear messages for this blog, so I am writing to you to tell you all that He impressed on my heart.

Writing about Abortion from the Woman’s Perspective

One of the things that I’ve been doing amidst the hardest test of late (which I will tell you about in another post) is writing my memoir. I am editing it now and plan to publish this fall.

Three Books In Process

The first of three books, my memoir is currently titled One Face of Abortion. Books two and three will be Faces of Abortion, Book One and Faces of Abortion, Book Two (with an awesome subtitle that I am not yet revealing).Future books by Cheryl Krichbaum

Whereas the first book is my abortion story (well, really it’s my full testimony), books two and three will contain many abortion stories from repentant Christian women. Why? Because you need to hear the devastating effects of abortion on women and the lies and life circumstances that led them to abort. To be effective in how we minister to abortion-minded women, we need to better understand them.

(Would you be willing to let me tell your story in one of my books? You may be anonymous, if you’d like. If you’ll allow me to interview you, please contact me through MybodyMyworship!)

The intent is not to celebrate our abortions—far from it! The intent is to tell the truth about the devastating effects of abortions on our lives.

The #ShoutYourAbortion Movement Is a Lie

The #shoutyourabortion movement is about removing the stigma of abortion for women who are still trying to justify their “choice.”

The lie of the #shoutyourabortion movement is that abortion is a good thing or at least that it’s no big deal.#ShoutYourAbortion is a lie

The truth is that abortion has devastating effects on women’s psyches and our spiritual lives.

Spiritual lives? But pro-choice women aren’t Christians, you say–Not all true!

  • 35% of women were attending a Christian church once a month or more at the time of their first abortion.
  • 27% of post-abortive women identify as Catholic.
  • 26% of post-abortive women identify as Protestant.
  • 15% of post-abortive women identify as nondenominational. (Care Net 2016)

Further, many post-abortive women, whether they identify as Christian or not, don’t think that they can set foot in a church. I don’t have statistics, but I keep hearing it:

“God won’t forgive me.”
“I’m not worthy of God’s love.”
“I’m not good enough for church.”

With the pro-life focus on dead babies, we don’t often hear about the psychological effects of abortion on women—the very ones who are making most of the decisions to abort.

It’s time to change that. That’s why I title my blog “Changing the Conversation.” Here are some statistics on the effects of abortion on women:

  • 92% of post-abortive women experience emotional deadening.
  • 86% of post-abortive women experience anger or rage. (Although not in the study, I would add bitterness based on my own experience.)
  • 86% of post-abortive women fear others finding out.
  • 82% of post-abortive women experience intense feelings of loneliness or isolation.
  • 63% of post-abortive women experience denial.
  • 58% of post-abortive women battle nightmares.
  • 56% of post-abortive women develop suicidal feelings.
  • 53% of post-abortive women engage in drug abuse.
  • 39% of post-abortive women have eating disorders.
  • (See “Medical Reports” in Citations.)

I experienced emotional deadening. I called myself the walking dead long before the TV show aired. I was bitter. I feared others finding out. I lost my joy.

Post-Abortive Men Feel It, Too

Further, we are on the tip of the iceberg, so to speak, on the devastating effects of abortion on post-abortive men—the very ones who supported or even pressured women to abort. A woman’s sex partner is the number one influencer on her decision (see the Care Net study). That was true for me, too.

I look forward to hearing from post-abortive, repentant Christian men.

Need a New Hashtag

It’s time for us to speak up! Perhaps we need a new hashtag! Is #speakuppostabortiveChristians too long?

In Christ,

Cheryl

PS. If you or someone you know has had an abortion and is hiding in shame, find a Christian pregnancy center or church near you that offers an abortion healing class. Search Care Net for a pregnancy center. Two abortion healing curricula are Surrendering the Secret (this is the one that I did) and Forgiven and Set Free (which my friend did).

Citations:

Care Net. “Study of Women Who Have Had an Abortion & Their Views on Church.” 2016.

“Medical Reports/Women’s Health/Abortion…Is There a Connection?” from noelforlife.org

Announcing MybodyMyworship!

Dear Christian Sisters,

I had the privilege of being interviewed on the radio about my new ministry, MybodyMyworship. When the audio recording becomes available, I’ll share it with you, but in the meantime, here is the transcript.

Katharine: I’m Katharine Wang and you’re listening Radio Fairfax in Fairfax, VA. This is Keys to Spiritual Growth. Today we’re going to answer listener questions live on the radio.

But first a reminder that you’re listening to Radio Fairfax, Fairfax, VA. Cablecast on Cox and Verizon FIOS Channel 37 and Comcast channel 27 in Reston, VA. Webcast worldwide on the internet at www.radiofairfax.org.Katharine Wang on the radio

We’re live once a month answering questions about God and the Bible. I like to think of it as the type of question you’d like to ask God if you could pull up and chair and maybe grab a cup of tea and ask him something. We take questions in advance and also live right now. The call in number is 703-560-TALK. That’s 703-560-8255. Or on Facebook at facebook.com/mbministries.

Katharine: I’m here with my friend Lorelei, who’s going to tell us what questions we’ve received from listeners this past month. Lorelei, you couldn’t be with us last month. It’s good to have you back.

Lorelei: It’s good to be back.

Katharine: Before you tell us the first question from listeners, did I tell you we have two special guests on the show?

Lorelei: You did. I’m excited about meeting them.

Katharine: Yes, Cheryl Krichbaum is here with Michele Bair. Cheryl is the founder of a new ministry called My body My worship, which I’m excited to hear about. Michele is going to be part of this ministry, too.

Lorelei: Welcome to Keys to Spiritual Growth with Katharine Wang. We’re excited to have you on the show today.

Cheryl: We’re excited to be here.

Katharine: So Cheryl, you grew up in Minnesota going to church with your family, but it was more of a tradition that you did and you didn’t really believe Christianity or have its power.

Cheryl: Yeah, I didn’t understand what Christ’s sacrifice was about. I knew all the Bible stories, but I didn’t understand what they meant for me. When life got difficult, I turned my back on church and on God then made some pretty big mistakes. I became even more bitter against God. But then I met a man who wasn’t scared away by my life. In retrospect, I can see that he was showing me what the love of Christ was like. To make a long story short, he prayed for me, I accepted Christ, and then we got married.

Katharine: Let’s fast forward. Tell us about your trip to Africa.

Cheryl: I was in Uganda just over a year ago on a short-term mission trip. I had taught your Bible studies to children and had met a 5-year-old boy with Down Syndrome. That night I was asking one of the pastors about special needs children in Uganda and Africa which led to a discussion about abortion. The pastor said that he preaches on how our words often send women to have abortions. And that’s when I knew I needed to change the conversation about abortion.

Cheryl Krichbaum on the radioKatharine: So you realized that the way the church talks about abortion can be damaging to women? How should the conversation change?

Cheryl: The pro-life movement usually talks about babies, trying to convince the abortion-minded that killing babies is wrong–and it is wrong. But the pro-choice movement is talking about women and women’s rights, not babies. Women choose abortion because they think it’s best for themselves. We are ego-centric people and Millenials even more so. We need to have conversations about women and the psychological damage that results from abortion. If they are Christians, then we also need to talk about the spiritual darkness they plunge themselves into when they have abortions. We need to have loving conversations that draw women into life–physically and spiritually.

Katharine: So women-centered, eternally-focused conversations about abortion. I like that. This topic has a personal interest to you, doesn’t it?

Cheryl: Yes, when life got difficult and I left the church and God, I went looking for love elsewhere. I spent more time with my boyfriend than in my parents’ home because life was difficult at home but pleasant with my boyfriend. Not surprisingly, I got pregnant. Because I didn’t want the shame of pregnancy in high school and because I wanted to stay on track with my education, I had an abortion. And then I made more bad choices, like living with my boyfriend, buying a house with him, and eventually marrying him even though I knew deep inside that I shouldn’t have. That marriage ended in divorce. And, by the way, I still had the shame of pregnancy in high school, and my education was not completed on schedule.

Katharine: What a powerful personal story. And now you’re founding a ministry called My Body My Worship. How is your work different from what other pro-life groups do?

Cheryl: We battle abortion in a way different than all other pro-life ministries–through true worship and teaching the nations all that Jesus commanded (Romans 12:1, Matthew 28:20). We do this through women’s conferences and social media posts.

Our mission is to inspire spiritual acts of worship by teaching biblically sound science of sexual integrity and psychological effects of abortion–based on Romans 12:1-2 and 1 Corinthians 6:12-20.

Katharine: Michele, that’s where you come in. You’ve been a worshipper and a worship leader at your church for more than 20 years.

Michele: Yes, one thing I’ve learned in over 20 years of leading worship is that our bodies, souls, and spirits are intertwined. When we worship, it washes out our spirits and souls. It’s like taking a spiritual shower. All the filth and grime of the day washes off, and we’re filled with God’s presence.

Katharine: And you’ve named the ministry My body my worship? Why?

Cheryl: The pro-choice movement says, “My body. My choice.” We say that it’s our choice to worship with our bodies. As Michele says, our worship and our bodies are intertwined. There are many ways to worship–with hymns, on our knees, with lifted hands, even dancing. But the New Testament believer should also worship with their whole bodies in a Levitical sense, meaning that they should be pure before the Lord.

We get this from Romans 12:1, which says: Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.

Michele: We are also using worship as King Jehoshaphat in the Bible did to defeat his enemies. In 2 Chronicles 20, we see that the kingdom of Judah was about to be attacked by many enemies. King Jehoshaphat immediately went to the Lord. He called the country to pray and fast. Then he sent out a worship team ahead of the army. And GOD defeated their enemies.

Cheryl: We too are at war–spiritual war. Women (and men, but most obviously women) are under attack–even from other women. Women are fooled into thinking that abortion is no big deal. We are fooled into believing that we can have safe sex outside of marriage. We abort in order to avoid the shame of being caught pregnant out of wedlock, and then we hide our abortions because we are ashamed.

Katharine: A lot of people think of abortion as a political issue. But you don’t. Explain.

Cheryl: We don’t think God sees abortion as a political issue. When you embrace Daniel chapter 4, you can’t help but realize that God is in control of who is in office. I do believe that God is unhappy with His Christian nation legalizing abortion, so yes, we need to de-fund Planned Parenthood and reverse Roe v Wade.

But God is unhappy with our hearts and is waiting for us, for Christians, to act like Christ. The real victory in this spiritual war is saving eternal lives of abortion-minded women and men here in the United States and around the world. The Church is bigger than our country and so is spiritual war.

So, we’re going to battle by worshipping through music, lifted hands, etc. and by teaching what both the Bible and science say about abortion and about sex.

Katharine: That’s intriguing. Both the Bible and science.

Cheryl: Yes, both the Bible and science because scientific research supports all the biblical laws about sex–Which is no surprise, right? since God created science.

Katharine: Can you tell me just one thing scientific research has found that supports what the Bible says about sex and abortion?

Cheryl: The hormones that are activated in us when we have sex bond us with our partner. So when people have heterosexual or homosexual sex, they feel bonded to that person. The Bible says, the two shall become one, which is reiterated in 1 Corinthians 6:12-20. When women break that bond, their emotions are affected and often they become depressed or develop anxiety. When men break that bond, they often become jealous ex-boyfriends.

Katharine: Wow. So our bodies were physically designed to operate best when we make a marriage connection to just one person. Alright, shifting gears a little, I’d love to hear what you would say to a woman who has an unplanned pregnancy right now who is thinking about an abortion?

Cheryl: When I had my abortion, I plunged myself into darkness. Even before there was a TV show called “The Walking Dead,” I described myself as the walking dead. I looked alive. I acted happy. But I wasn’t. I was dead inside. When you choose death for what is growing inside of you, you also choose death for yourself and Satan wins. God loves you so much that He doesn’t want the pain of abortion for you.

Katharine: What would you say to a young woman thinking about having sex before getting married?

Michele: As young women, we were told it’s OK to have sex as long as you use birth control. Today they called it “safer” sex. But the Bible doesn’t say that it’s okay to have sex if we use birth control. God says the only way to fully experience the beauty that He made sex to be is to have it with just the one person of the opposite sex to whom you are married. In fact, sex outside marriage is so dangerous–both physically and spiritually–it can scar our bodies, emotions, and spirits forever. Until we ask Jesus to heal those wounds.

Cheryl: The biggest advantage of sexual purity, of course, is obeying God–this is your spiritual act of worship (Romans 12:1) and your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). When our spirits are pure, we can hear more clearly from the Lord and become like spiritual superheroes. Nothing is impossible for us spiritually. When we live with sin, it’s like Superman meets kryptonite. Sin drains our spiritual power. Sex outside of marriage makes us weaklings spiritually. We can’t hear God, and we can be easily defeated. Sexual purity gives us spiritual super-strength. It keeps our emotions free of deep wounds.

But it also keeps our physical bodies free of so many diseases. For example, HPV is so prevalent now that we have a vaccine for it. Women are biologically more susceptible to HPV than men and get it even if the condom works perfectly.

We need to change the conversation about abortion. We need to talk about abortion and sex more in church than in politics. We need to teach our generation and the generations after us. This is not a young person’s issue. This is a heart issue of all the generations. All the generations need healing. And in a 2 Chronicles 7:14 way, all generations need to repent and seek God’s face if we want revival–and we believe our conferences will spark revival.

Katharine: What about a woman who has already had an abortion, like yourself, Cheryl? What would you say to someone like you?

Cheryl: Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). If we want life, if we want to stop being the walking dead, then we have to accept Jesus’ love for us. I chose Christ and then later admitted to Him that I was wrong to have an abortion. And He immediately washed away my sins, and I felt clean and alive. You can have that freedom, too. Start with Psalm 51 and then contact your local pregnancy center for a post-abortion healing class. You can also seek a healing ministry or attend one of our conferences.

Katharine: I’ve never had an abortion, but I lost two children in utero, so I understand the guilt and feelings of loss that we feel anytime we lose a pregnancy. And I can also tell you that our children are with God. I believe I will spend eternity with them. And they always have a place in our hearts. Their short lives served a purpose here even if they were never born.

Cheryl: Yes. And our babies love us and forgive us. They are in heaven waiting for their moms. And those babies whose moms do not know Christ are crying. We Christians have got to share the Gospel with post-abortive women so that those babies are consoled and reconciled some day with their mothers in heaven.

Katharine: Amazing work you’re both doing Cheryl and Michele. If someone wanted to find out more about your work, how could they do it?

Cheryl: Our website is MybodyMyworship.org. We’re also on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. We also do MybodyMyworship conferences at churches. You can find out information about how to get involved or how to bring a conference to your church on our website. We honestly believe that worshipping the Lord in this way will spark revival.

Katharine: It’s been a delight to have you on our show today.

Cheryl: Thank you for having us!

In Christ,

Cheryl