#ShoutYourAbortionRegret

Dear Christian Sisters and Brothers,

Who can counter the #shoutyourabortion movement? Those of us who #shoutyourabortionregret!

Why? Because we know how the abortion-minded think, and we’ve experienced the same pain.

When I listen to Alyssa Milano’s podcast in which she tells her abortion story, I hear her pain. When I watch Busy Phillips on her show admit that she had an abortion, I see her pain.

Why? Because abortion hurts women.

Abortion hurt me, and I didn’t even realize it. Thirteen years after my abortion, I chose to allow Christ to be close to me. Fourteen years after my abortion, Jesus quietly, gently, kindly spoke to me about my abortion.

ReTested book cover
My whole story, which I pray will arm you with biblical tools for your own life tests

Although I initially denied that the abortion was my fault, I did ultimately accept responsibility. It was then that I started to become alive. I realized that I had been walking through life dead—I looked alive. I acted alive. But I was dead inside, and I didn’t even realize it.

King David explains this “walking dead” experience well in Psalm 32:3-5, which he wrote after he had Bathsheba’s husband killed.

 

He described heaviness and how his vitality was drained away. Looking back, that describes my post-abortion experience well—but I didn’t even realize it until God began healing me.

Yet when I shared my story with other Christians, I felt like I got the Christian cold shoulder, so I stopped telling people.

With the exception of one testimony that I gave right before moving out-of-state, I was silent for a dozen years.

Then God called me to speak boldly (Isaiah 58:1), so I began speaking and writing, and the Lord healed me even more. It took me a total of 31 years after my abortion to be completely healed.

And today, I have my joy back!

Now I realize that Christians don’t know how to respond to my abortion—they didn’t when I first told my story, and they don’t today.

Perhaps that’s why you or your friend has not spoken up. Perhaps your friend doesn’t know how you’ll respond. Perhaps your friend is afraid of your judgment.

  • Give her a hug!
  • Tell him that there are healing classes available, even for men.
  • Remind her that God loves her deeply, and He just wants her back as His beloved daughter and made whole.
  • Compliment both women and men for being brave by telling you!

We know from King David’s words in Psalm 139:13-16 that God knew us when we were pre-born. Many more verses, and perhaps more convincing verses, say the same.

And we know that shedding innocent blood is an abomination to God (Prov 6:17).

But we also know that both King David (2 Sam 11-12) and the Apostle Paul (Acts 7:54-8:3; 1 Tim 1:15) shed innocent blood and yet were used mightily for the Lord.

  • Let’s welcome women and men who are willing to #shoutyourabortionregret with the loving arms of Jesus, who lives in us.
  • Let’s be part of their story of redemption.
  • Let’s guide those who are not yet whole to post-abortion healing classes, offered through your local Christian pregnancy resource center or your church.
  • Let’s cheer them on in their race to the finish line.

And then invite your friends to contact me so that we can work together to write their stories—so that they can anonymously tell their stories to refute the #shoutyourabortion narrative.

Let’s use the Christ-love that lives in us to encourage and empower post-abortive women and men to shout their abortion regret!

In Christ,

Cheryl

God Wants His Daughters Back

Dear Christian Sisters,

As I said in my last post titled “Do Not Give Up Speaking Truth,” women who have had abortions are contacting me privately.

In all the recent controversy over late-term abortions, I see God revealing hearts and calling His daughters back to him.

Please receive them in love.

Why Is Our Response Important?

Our response to post-abortive women is important because:

  • Speaking truth in love is what Jesus did—as did my husband.
  • Speaking in love results in repentance, which results in healing and a restored relationship with Christ.
  • Restored post-abortive women can speak boldly about abortion in a way that others cannot and will become a loud trumpet that cannot be ignored.

Speak the Truth in Love

Jesus spoke the truth in love both to the woman at the well, resulting in many Samaritans hearing the Gospel, and to the woman caught in adultery, resulting in her accusers walking away, saving her life.

My husband also spoke the truth in love, and as result I chose personal faith in Jesus as the Christ, reconciled with God, and was healed. You’ll read about my hero in my upcoming book ReTested.

People who prayed outside Abby Johnson‘s Planned Parenthood clinic (40 Days for Life) also spoke the truth in love, as did her husband, resulting in her famously leaving her position as clinic Director and now speaking boldly for the pro-life movement. You can watch her story in the upcoming movie “Unplanned.”

My point? Speaking the truth in love results in people choosing Christ and His path.

Healing & Restoration

Your kind words may lead a woman to a post-abortion healing class offered through pregnancy centers and some churches using curriculum like Surrendering the Secret and Forgiven and Set Free. **

Healing comes through acknowledging one’s responsibility and confessing it to the Lord. For me, admitting that my abortion was my choice, not the result of others’ actions, was central to my repentance.

The same was true of King David in the Old Testament. After he committed adultery with Bathsheba and had her husband Uriah killed, he said:

When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away
Through my groaning all day long (Psalm 32:3).

Before I reconciled with God, I felt as David did:

My vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer (Psalm 32:4b).

But both King David and I found freedom through confession:

I acknowledged my sin to You,
And my iniquity I did not hide.
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord”;
And You forgave the guilt of my sin. (Psalm 32:5)

Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me. (Psalm 51:9-10)

I also found a great deal of freedom from forgiving.

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins (Matthew 6:14-15).

Perhaps you are not living a life of freedom, even though you never had an abortion. Whether you’ve had an abortion or not, take some time today to ask God how you have sinned and whom you have not forgiven. Then confess your sin and your anger.

Lord, I confess that I ___________________ and I should not have. I am sorry. Please forgive me. For I know what I did was wrong, and it is always before me. Against you have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight. Cleanse me, and I will be clean. Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness!

Lord, I blame ___________________(person’s name) for ______________________. Please forgive me for harboring bitterness and anger toward him/her. Lord, I forgive ___________________. Bless __________________ with every spiritual blessing.

I pray that the freedom you feel is as amazing as mine.

Healed people get excited to tell everyone what Christ did. Imagine the powerful evangelical force of healed and restored Christians.

Imagine the powerful evangelical force of healed and restored post-abortive Christian women!

Speaking Boldly

One of the private messages that I received this week from a post-abortive woman was a cry over New York’s late-term abortion.

I am crying, too. Not only are more babies going to die, but now we’re going to have even more women who are spiritually dead, bitter, and defending the pro-choice movement. They are going to need healing, too.

Now, imagine hundreds of healed, outspoken, post-abortive women who explain how abortion hurt them psychologically and spiritually.

Imagine every pro-choice argument—intended to be pro-women arguments—refuted by women who have had abortions.

Now that’s a trumpet band I want to hear!

“Cry loudly, do not hold back;
Raise your voice like a trumpet,
And declare to My people their transgression
And to the house of Jacob their sins” (Isaiah 58:1).

In Christ,

Cheryl

** The links for Surrendering the Secret and Forgiven and Set Free are affiliate links. Any remuneration that I receive from affiliate links are used to pay for my three websites: CherylKrichbaum.blog, MybodyMyworship.org, and FacesofAbortion.com.

A Different Kind of #ShoutYourAbortion Movement

#Shoutyourabortion claims that abortion is no big deal because everyone does it. The truth is that 92% of post-abortive women experience emotional deadening.

Dear Christian Sisters,

Let me start by apologizing for not writing to you for so many months. I have been absent from my blog because I’ve been walking through more life tests. Although the Lord has been faithful to lead me through these tests, my ability to hear His will for this blog has been muffled.

Until this morning.

Early Morning Quiet Time with God

Until today, I have been sleeping in over the summer, having my quiet time with the Lord after breakfast. Lately, I’ve been struggling to get back on my early morning schedule because I am a night person. However, I know that my early morning prayer time makes the school year go so much more smoothly, so I need to get back on track.

This morning, though, I had no problem waking up. No coffee needed! The Lord woke me up at 5:30 am with very clear messages for this blog, so I am writing to you to tell you all that He impressed on my heart.

Writing about Abortion from the Woman’s Perspective

One of the things that I’ve been doing amidst the hardest test of late (which I will tell you about in another post) is writing my memoir. I am editing it now and plan to publish this fall.

Three Books In Process

The first of three books, my memoir is currently titled One Face of Abortion. Books two and three will be Faces of Abortion, Book One and Faces of Abortion, Book Two (with an awesome subtitle that I am not yet revealing).Future books by Cheryl Krichbaum

Whereas the first book is my abortion story (well, really it’s my full testimony), books two and three will contain many abortion stories from repentant Christian women. Why? Because you need to hear the devastating effects of abortion on women and the lies and life circumstances that led them to abort. To be effective in how we minister to abortion-minded women, we need to better understand them.

(Would you be willing to let me tell your story in one of my books? You may be anonymous, if you’d like. If you’ll allow me to interview you, please contact me through MybodyMyworship!)

The intent is not to celebrate our abortions—far from it! The intent is to tell the truth about the devastating effects of abortions on our lives.

The #ShoutYourAbortion Movement Is a Lie

The #shoutyourabortion movement is about removing the stigma of abortion for women who are still trying to justify their “choice.”

The lie of the #shoutyourabortion movement is that abortion is a good thing or at least that it’s no big deal.#ShoutYourAbortion is a lie

The truth is that abortion has devastating effects on women’s psyches and our spiritual lives.

Spiritual lives? But pro-choice women aren’t Christians, you say–Not all true!

  • 35% of women were attending a Christian church once a month or more at the time of their first abortion.
  • 27% of post-abortive women identify as Catholic.
  • 26% of post-abortive women identify as Protestant.
  • 15% of post-abortive women identify as nondenominational. (Care Net 2016)

Further, many post-abortive women, whether they identify as Christian or not, don’t think that they can set foot in a church. I don’t have statistics, but I keep hearing it:

“God won’t forgive me.”
“I’m not worthy of God’s love.”
“I’m not good enough for church.”

With the pro-life focus on dead babies, we don’t often hear about the psychological effects of abortion on women—the very ones who are making most of the decisions to abort.

It’s time to change that. That’s why I title my blog “Changing the Conversation.” Here are some statistics on the effects of abortion on women:

  • 92% of post-abortive women experience emotional deadening.
  • 86% of post-abortive women experience anger or rage. (Although not in the study, I would add bitterness based on my own experience.)
  • 86% of post-abortive women fear others finding out.
  • 82% of post-abortive women experience intense feelings of loneliness or isolation.
  • 63% of post-abortive women experience denial.
  • 58% of post-abortive women battle nightmares.
  • 56% of post-abortive women develop suicidal feelings.
  • 53% of post-abortive women engage in drug abuse.
  • 39% of post-abortive women have eating disorders.
  • (See “Medical Reports” in Citations.)

I experienced emotional deadening. I called myself the walking dead long before the TV show aired. I was bitter. I feared others finding out. I lost my joy.

Post-Abortive Men Feel It, Too

Further, we are on the tip of the iceberg, so to speak, on the devastating effects of abortion on post-abortive men—the very ones who supported or even pressured women to abort. A woman’s sex partner is the number one influencer on her decision (see the Care Net study). That was true for me, too.

I look forward to hearing from post-abortive, repentant Christian men.

Need a New Hashtag

It’s time for us to speak up! Perhaps we need a new hashtag! Is #speakuppostabortiveChristians too long?

In Christ,

Cheryl

PS. If you or someone you know has had an abortion and is hiding in shame, find a Christian pregnancy center or church near you that offers an abortion healing class. Search Care Net for a pregnancy center. Two abortion healing curricula are Surrendering the Secret (this is the one that I did) and Forgiven and Set Free (which my friend did).

Citations:

Care Net. “Study of Women Who Have Had an Abortion & Their Views on Church.” 2016.

“Medical Reports/Women’s Health/Abortion…Is There a Connection?” from noelforlife.org