Busy Philipps’ Fallacy

Dear Christian Sisters and Brothers,

My tween is reading The Fallacy Detective by Nathaniel Bluedorn & Hans Bluedorn for school this spring. The authors teach 38 ways to recognize bad reasoning. It’s fun! and my son loves it!

A fallacy is an error in logic. The Fallacy Detective provides names for different kinds of errors in logic. The one you probably know best is red herring.

My son gets very animated when we read the book because he recognizes the fallacies in the news and on the internet. I just sigh and shake my head, saddened, because I see all the fallacies in the abortion debate.

Most recently, Busy Philipps has been shouting her abortion, and it grieves me that women listen to her because she is a celebrity. Frankly, I’m so old that I only know about her because I’m active in the pro-life movement. (I’m really only 50, so not that old!)

Ms. Philipps claims that she has a career because she had an abortion—at age 15. To assume that she could not have had a career if she had given birth at age 15 is an either-or fallacy.

“When someone asserts that we must choose between two things, when in fact we have more than two alternatives, (s)he is using the either-or fallacy.”—page 125 The Fallacy Detective

Ms. Philipps had the obvious alternative of putting her child up for adoption.

However, women with crisis pregnancies usually choose between raising their babies or aborting their babies. This, too, is an either-or fallacy, but we cannot discount how attached women feel to their pre-born babies. Women intuitively know that they cannot handle the idea of giving birth and then giving away their babies.

And science explains this. Oxytocin is released in abundance during childbirth, and oxytocin is a bonding neurochemical.

The fact that oxytocin bonds women to their babies makes sense both from an evolution perspective and a creation perspective. After all the pain of childbirth, mothers because they bonded to their babies want to protect them, feed them, nurture them, and raise them to be thriving adults. When we do so, the human race continues.

But what women ignore is that they are already bonded to their pre-born babies. If you JoyMariewere to talk to women who regret their abortions, you would find that they know when their babies would’ve been born and how old they would be today. Most know intuitively whether their babies were girls or boys, and many have named their babies.

Women who regret their abortions are grieved that they murdered their babies.

But putting her child up for adoption was not Ms. Philipps only choice. She could have raised her child or co-raised her child with the baby’s grandmother.

Taraji P Henson was in college, not high school, when she had her unplanned pregnancy. People told her she wouldn’t finish her degree. She showed them wrong by walking across the stage at graduation with her son on her hip.

I had a friend in high school who not only finished high school with a newborn but went on to get both her bachelor’s and master’s degrees.

So to say that we women have to choose between career and a baby is an either-or fallacy, but even more so—it’s demeaning to women to say that we’re not strong enough or not capable enough to have a child and a career. Single moms do it all the time.

Praises to you strong, single moms!

To say that we women have to choose between career and a baby also assumes that it’s 1973, and we don’t have equal rights to work. That’s a slap in the face of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the ACLU, who took case after case through the courts to get rights for women. (See the movie “On the Basis of Sex.”)

One last note on fallacies: To listen to Busy Philipps or Alyssa Milano or even Taraji P Henson because they are celebrities is a faulty appeal to authority, an error in logic (again, see The Fallacy Detective). When we listen to celebrities, we assume that they are authorities because they are famous.

But these women are not authorities on unplanned pregnancies and abortion because they are celebrities. They are authorities because they’ve had unplanned pregnancies and (except Ms. Henson) abortions.

So have I.

In Christ,

Cheryl

P.S. Pray for Busy Philipps and Alyssa Milano and all post-abortive women and men so that they are completely healed, let go of their anger/bitterness/resentment, and feel God’s agape love.

47 Years of Legally Murdering Our Firstborn

Dear Christian Sisters and Brothers,

Today, January 22, 2020, is the 47th anniversary of Roe v Wade and Doe v Bolton.

This is how I feel…

We must pray and worship for the end of abortion. We win this spiritual battle through Christ!

Join me in prayer.

Worship to End Abortion: 40 Daily Prayers

Available exclusively on Amazon

In Christ,

Cheryl

Pray for Pastors Ahead of Sanctity of Life Sunday

Dear Christian Sisters & Brothers,

We have a busy week starting with the Women’s March on Saturday and ending with the March for Life the following Friday.

Are you praying and worshiping for the end of abortion?

This weekend is not only Martin Luther King Jr Day but also Sanctity of Life Sunday.Cheryl as the walking deadjoy sucked right out of Cheryl

Please pray for pastors as they prepare their sanctity of life sermons.

Many pastors shy away from preaching about abortion because they view it as a political issue. But first and foremost, it’s a spiritual issue!

Please encourage your pastor! Don’t badger him or her! Just share your support.

And if you’re a pastor looking for more Bible verses beyond Psalm 139 or want another perspective on God’s love for life, visit these two pages:

And you are always welcome to contact me for a testimony or to ask me questions.

In Christ,

Cheryl

Pro-Choice Movement Stuck in the 60s & 70s

Dear Christian Sisters and Brothers,

I recently watched the movie “On the Basis of Sex,” the story of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. And you should watch it, too, because you need to understand your audience.

The movie is well done, and it reminds us of our history.

I don’t particularly care for the ACLU today, and I am greatly disappointed that Ruth Bader Ginsburg is for pro-abortion laws.

But Ruth Bader Ginsberg and the ACLU did a lot of legal work in the 1970s to give women and men equal rights. And for that, we should be grateful.

But I stopped and thought about all the things I hear the pro-choice movement say today.

I thought about Alyssa Milano‘s announcement of her two abortions and everything she had to say against men.

And I realize that it’s as if the pro-choice movement is stuck in the 1960s and 70s, thinking that women do not have equal rights.

How ridiculous!

But it’s worse. The pro-choice movement—led by women like Gloria Steinem, who actually remembers what it was like in the 1970s—keep telling the younger generations that we women don’t have equal rights. Or that sex is unfair.

Really? Haven’t they noticed?

It’s the age of women!

Women are in leadership roles.

Women have all sorts of legal protections for having children and working in whatever kind of job they want.

Women have been very successful with babies on their hips. Ask Taraji P Henson!

It seems that women are upset that men can have sex and walk away, but women can’t. That’s what I heard Alyssa Milano say. That’s the new equal rights they are fighting to keep.

The pro-choice movement is fighting to keep the right to have sex with anyone and everyone and still be able to walk away from both the responsibility of a child and the relationship with their sex partner.

What the pro-choice movement doesn’t seem to realize is that once they have an abortion, they are spiritually dead.

Their souls are dead.

They have no conscience. Or, they become depressed—cutting, drinking, drugs…

Is this not oppressive of who we are as women?

Why would we allow anyone to oppress us? This is the age of women!

Abortion oppresses women.

And men benefit from abortion!

They don’t have to pay child support. They don’t have to parent. They don’t have to be tied to the mother of their children for the rest of their lives.

Abortion allows men to go around and have sex with whoever they want without any legal consequences.

So, pro-choice movement, listen up! Abortion allows men to oppress you. Don’t allow anyone to oppress you. Do not let him convince you to have an abortion.

Tell him to man up and get a job.

Rant over.

In Christ,

Cheryl

P. S. to pro-life men, please influence pro-choice men!

2020 Year of Pro-Life Men?

Dear Christians Sisters and Brothers,

Abby Johnson declared 2020 the year of the man’s voice in the abortion debate.

But pro-choice women will just continue to get mad at pro-life men–just ask Alyssa Milano.

What we need are pro-life men teaching pro-abortion men! Because men have a great deal to gain by keeping abortion legal.

With abortion, a man doesn’t have to pay child support.

With abortion, a man doesn’t have to take time to parent his children.

With abortion, a man can walk away from the relationship at any time.

Children tie a man down.

So what we really need is to convince men to change their thinking–to be pro-life.

According to a study by Care Net, men are the most influential on a woman’s choice. So even though women don’t want to admit it, baby daddies are the biggest influencer.

We need good Christian men influencing spiritually lost men for life and for Christ.

In Christ,

Cheryl

Featured in After the Abortion Photography Series

Dear Christian Sisters and Brothers,

On my way to an author conference, I drove to Fort Wayne, IN to dress up like a zombie—not for Halloween but for the After the Abortion Photography Series by Angela Forker, featured on Facebook.zombie-cheryl

In my book, ReTested: The Story of a Post-Abortive Woman Called to Change the Conversation, I describe my abortion to be as perfect as the pro-choice movement promised, but I also explain how I later realized that my joy was sucked out of me right along with my baby.

Angela captured my lack of emotions perfectly, She’s a talented woman.

I was already planning a drive to Columbus, OH for an author conference when I found out that Angela lives just a few hours away in Fort Wayne, so I started my trip a day early.angela-forker

Angela is a sweet soul full of talent and compassion—an obedient servant of God.

I’m also excited to share that my book, which is endorsed by Abby Johnson and Kim Ketola, is a finalist for the conference’s Author Academy Awards, an honor bestowed for literary merit and publishing excellence in the writing and publishing industry.

The award ceremony is tonight. Prayers are appreciated!

In Christ,

Cheryl

Pro-Life, Not Pro-Political Party

When we rally behind a political party rather than LOVE, we anger everyone in the other party and rally our own, resulting in preaching to the choir. The choir doesn’t need convincing.

Dear Christian Sisters and Brothers,

Let’s choose pro-life posts to share on social media, not pro-political party posts.

When we attack a political party, we put people on the defense and they are less open to our points.

We also make abortion an issue only of the USA when it’s actually a worldwide issue.

Reversing Roe v Wade is an interim step, not the final goal. The goal is to make abortion unthinkable worldwide.

Instead, let’s talk about becoming more Christ-like. If people are more like Christ, then God can lead them to vote in the way that meets His purposes…

Which may not be YOUR purposes.

And, let’s get realistic: The Democrats for Life are likely the ones who will turn the political tide in our country.

When we rally behind a political party rather than LOVE, we anger everyone in the other party and rally our own, resulting in preaching to the choir. The choir doesn’t need convincing.

That’s helpful if we’re running for office, but most of us are not.

We’re running the race for Christ.

In Christ,

  • Cheryl

The Consequences of Unconfessed Sin

Dear Christian Sisters & Brothers,

This is a continuation of The Spiritual Consequences of Abortion Series, which includes:

Today, we continue to how King David described the consequences of unconfessed sin.

Despite David’s efforts to cover up his sin, the fighting men seem to have figured out that David had Uriah killed given that Bathsheba’s father was one of the mighty men (2 Samuel 23:34; 11:3) and that her grandfather Ahithophel later conspired against David (2 Samuel 15:31).

Certainly, those working in David’s palace knew that David got Bathsheba pregnant (2 Samuel 11:3-4) and tried to fool Uriah (2 Samuel 11:8-10, 13).

Perhaps all the people in Jerusalem figured out David’s sins (because not all rumors are false) but were afraid to say anything.

Until Nathan confronts David, the king thinks he has gotten away with his sins of extra-marital sex and murder (2 Samuel 11:27).

David Confessed His Sins

After Nathan explains things, David immediately takes responsibility and confesses his sin (2 Samuel 12:1-13).

As you know, David sang nearly half the Psalms. I say sang because psalm means song. Did he write them before he sang them, or did he sing them and then write them down? We don’t know.

But after he takes responsibility for what he did, David goes into the Tent of Meeting and sings his confession, as recorded in Psalm 51.

He also sings Psalm 32. In Psalm 32, David elegantly described what happened while he had unconfessed sin:

When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer. I acknowledged my sin to You and my iniquity I did not hide. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord”; and You forgave the guilt of my sin. (Psalm 32:3-5 NASB, emphasis mine)

From Psalm 32 and from Psalm 51, we learn what happens when we murder and commit adultery:

  • When we keep silent about our sin, our bodies waste away (Psalm 32:3).
  • The Lord’s hand is heavy upon us (Psalm 32:4).
  • Our vitality is drained away (Psalm 32:4).
  • We yearn to hear joy and gladness again (Psalm 51:8).
  • We can’t wait for our broken bones to rejoice (Psalm 51:8).
  • We want to be renewed with a steadfast spirit (Psalm 51:10).
  • We want to feel the Holy Spirit within us (Psalm 51:11).
  • We want to be restored with the joy of salvation (Psalm 51:12).

More Holy Spirit!

Like King David, once we have confessed we can feel the Holy Spirit within us, and perhaps then other people will see that we have more fruit of the Spirit—

  • love
  • joy
  • peace
  • patience
  • kindness
  • goodness
  • faithfulness
  • gentleness
  • self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)

But there’s more! In Luke 11:13, Jesus gives us permission to ask for even more of the Holy Spirit.

Join me tomorrow when I connect the whole series, explaining how the story of David, Bathsheba, and Uriah relates to the spiritual consequences of abortion.

In Christ,

Cheryl

Abortion in the Bible?

Dear Christian Sisters & Brothers,

Yesterday, I posted about the psychological risks of abortion. Today, I’m starting a series on the spiritual consequences.

Why don’t we tell Christian women the risks to their souls before they choose life or abortion?

Of the women who are aborting, 36% go to church at least once per month. It doesn’t matter which denomination—from Catholic to Evangelical.

Abortions have been had by women in your church—some before she knew Christ and some afterward.

Before scheduling a meeting with your pastor or priest, read this blog series yourself. Because as a member of The Church, you are as much of the solution to our society’s ills as the leaders of your local church.

Finding Evidence in the Bible

After I was completely healed from my abortion, I asked God what happened to me spiritually. I knew there were no stories of abortion in the Bible, but I asked Him if there were a story that explained the spiritual consequences of my abortion. He led me to King David’s murder of Bathsheba’s husband Uriah.

David Had Bathsheba’s Husband Killed

You are probably familiar with David and Bathsheba’s story, but let me give you a quick summary. David stayed home when he should’ve been in battle (2 Samuel 11:1). He sent all his men to war, including Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah (2 Samuel 11:3, 23:39; 1 Chronicles 11:26, 41). While at home, David used his kingly power to have sex with Uriah’s wife (2 Samuel 11:2-5).

What we don’t know is whether David and Bathsheba “had eyes for each other” before the adultery or whether she had sex with him because he was the king and reasoned that she couldn’t say “no.” However, there are two indications that the latter is more likely true.

First, Bathsheba is referred to as “woman” and “Uriah’s wife” all through Second Samuel Chapter 11, which tells the story of infidelity and murder, leaving David as the focus of the story. We don’t learn her name until Chapter 12 verse 24 when David is consoling her after their baby dies.

Second, Bathsheba’s grandfather (2 Samuel 23:34; 11:3), who was David’s counselor (2 Samuel 15:12), later conspired against David (2 Samuel 23:34; 11:3; 15:12, 31). Therefore, I lean toward kingly pressure that today we call rape.

Whichever the case, the king is responsible for following the law of the land (Deuteronomy 17:18-20).

David tries to cover up his adultery by tricking Uriah into having sex with his wife. But Uriah is a man of higher character than David and won’t sleep with his wife when he should be away at war (2 Samuel 11:6-13). So David had Uriah killed to cover up his sin (2 Samuel 11:14-17).

David broke two commandments—adultery (Exodus 20:14; Deuteronomy 5:18) and murder (Exodus 20:13; Deuteronomy 5:17)—both of which had legal consequences of capital punishment (Leviticus 20:10; 24:17).

To learn more about how the story of King David’s affair and cover up relates to abortion, return tomorrow at 1 pm Eastern Time.

In Christ,

Cheryl

Listen to Alyssa Milano

Dear Christian Sisters and Brothers,

On Sunday, Alyssa Milano told her abortion story on her podcast. Some news outlets reported on it, including the LA Times, Us Weekly, and FOX.

Rather than getting mad at her for justifying what she did (for I, too, had an abortion), let’s read what Alyssa actually said (which I transcribed from her podcost):

I was on the pill, taking birth control, because I knew that I was not ready to be a parent… Also, at that time, I was taking a drug called Accutane. Accutane is an acne medicine that is so likely to cause birth defects if taken by a pregnant woman that the FDA now requires doctors, pharmacists, and women to sign up to a registry before dispensing it. So using contraception was doubly important to me.

And I still got pregnant.

It was devastating. I was raised Catholic and was suddenly put in conflict with my faith, faith I was coming to realize empowered only men to make every single decision about what was allowed and what was not allowed…

I chose to have an abortion I chose. It was my choice. And it was absolutely the right choice for me. It was not an easy choice. It was not something I wanted, but it was something that I needed, like most health care is.

I refuse to let anyone else’s bullshit morality force me into a life of premarital celibacy. I refuse to live in the narrative that sexual pleasure is for men and that women exist to deliver that pleasure. My body gives me pleasure. Sexually connecting with my partner gave me pleasure. No one would say that he was at fault for enjoying sex with me, but you can be damn sure that the men enacting these laws think less of me for deriving the same pleasure from him…

They tell you that the pill is 99% effective at preventing pregnancies and yet [here, she let’s out a big sigh] a few months later, I found out that I was pregnant again. So, I had done what I knew to do to prevent pregnancy and was still pregnant. So once again, I made the right decision to end that pregnancy…

The assault against women’s bodies has forced me to reflect on what I would’ve lost if I never had my abortions. I would not have my children… I would not have my career… I would never have met my amazing husband David… I would never have been free to be myself… That’s what this freedom is about: freedom. Freedom from oppression. Freedom for women to have the audacity to be equally sexual beings as men. freedom for women to live the life they were meant to have not just the life that is thrust upon them by a pregnancy that cannot exist in their life.

Listening to Alyssa tell her story is heartbreaking for me because…

  • I hear the pain in her voice.
  • I hear her regret for being pregnant and her regret of being faced with a choice.
  • I hear her anger toward patriarchy and inequality and hypocrisy.
  • I hear her heartbreak that she was twice in the 1% of birth control failure when she expected to be in the 99%.
  • I hear the anger for Christianity, which she sees as favoring men.

It’s heartbreaking to hear because I once thought like she does.

Regret about Pregnancy

I remember that I was more upset about being pregnant and having to choose than I was about the abortion itself. I blamed everyone else for my pregnancy rather than taking responsibility for choosing to have sex, which exists for procreation (whether you believe in creationism or evolution).

So, I was mad that sex did what it was supposed to do—make babies.

Do you hear that from Alyssa, too? What does that tell you about our sex education programs?

Inequality & Hypocrisy

When I hear Alyssa’s anger at inequality and hypocrisy, I want to cheer her on! Why? Because men are historically seen as studs when they get women pregnant, but women pregnant out-of-wedlock have been seen as whores. That hypocrisy makes me mad.

The reality is that men can have sex with multiple women with little consequence compared to the consequences for women. Women are at much higher risk for STIs/STDs because they are on the receiving end.

Women are the ones who get pregnant while men can walk away—and many men do, and many men have. Then the woman has to find him and fight for financial support.

If he’s not a nice guy, then she has to hide to protect herself and her child.

If she’s not interested in him any more, then she doesn’t want a child to keep her forever connected to him.

For the pro-choice movement, abortion is an equality issue. Alyssa says it in her podcast. The guests she quoted in her podcast say it. Can you see why?

Men have hurt women. Men have a reputation for hurting women, not protecting them.

So, when Alyssa and others in the pro-choice movement see male legislators writing anti-abortion laws, she does not see them as protecting her but as hurting her in yet another way.

What’s the answer?

One answer is for men to improve their reputation.

Oh, how I would like to hear a male, pro-life politician apologize for all the men who have not stood up to their responsibilities and to call for men to do better.

Men who are good men need to be mentoring other men—of every age. They need to be good dads to their sons and daughters. They need to teach their sons and especially their daughters what to look for in a spouse and what to watch out for when dating.

Women who are married to good men need to be heralding their husbands to their children and their friends publicly so that society hears that there are good men out there.

I’ll start! Russ is an awesome provider who would never run away from his children. Actually, Russ would have chosen to stop after our first was born because he felt too old to have our second one, but he never considered aborting. Today, our second boy is a chip off the old block. They truly enjoy their relationship.

(Follow Love Harder Marriage Coaching for more positive stories about husbands and fathers.)

Equality or Bondage?

The irony is that Alyssa and my former self see premarital sex and abortion as an equality issue, but I now see premarital sex and abortion as a bondage issue.

Roe v Wade was decided by men. What does legalized abortion allow? It allows men to have more extra-marital sex without consequences of providing for their children.

  • The baby daddy is the number one influence on a woman’s choice to abort.
  • Fathers, even Christian fathers, bring their daughters to abortion clinics.
  • Abusers bring women to abortion clinics.
  • Men bring their underage girlfriends to abortion clinics.
  • Sex traffickers bring women to abortion clinics.

That’s not equity. That’s bondage.

If we want abortion to be unthinkable, then we need to be talking to men, influencing men, to do better. I’m a mother of two boys. I’m starting at home.

Hollywood

Here’s another irony in what Alyssa has to say. At the time of her abortions, Alyssa was on the “women-empowering” show Charmed. She was one of three female stars of the TV series, which was created by a woman.

If Hollywood executives had written her out of the series for being pregnant, wouldn’t we have screamed women’s oppression? and inequality in the workplace?

Alyssa’s boyfriend/fiance—whom she did not call out, but I will: Scott Wolf—certainly had the money to support their child. She had enough money to raise their child or to put their baby up for adoption. So what was the concern?

The concern is that Alyssa’s career would’ve been ruined.

Don’t be surprised by this. Hollywood was paying for / providing abortions to actresses long before Roe v Wade.

Further, Lisa Whelchel, a Christian, who was on the TV show “The Facts of Life” (1979-88) talked about how she was given a scale and expected to weigh in every day. Skinniness is not just expected but demanded in Hollywood. Pregnancy messes that up.

In contrast, Gal Gadot, who played “Wonder Woman” in the recent DC Extended Universe movie, filmed several scenes while pregnant. Note that she had a female director.

But I wonder if Alyssa has ever talked to Taraji P Henson, who didn’t let her toddler or her status as a single mother stop her from becoming a multiple award winning actress.

“What if I believed those people who told me when I became pregnant in college that I wouldn’t finish? I walked across that stage with my son on my hip.” ~Taraji P. Henson, “Empire” and “Hidden Figures”

1% not 99%

I hear Alyssa upset that both of her unwanted pregnancies were from the 1% ineffectiveness of the pill.

This makes me wonder if Alyssa ever took math. I wonder if so many people in the pro-choice movement took math. I wonder how I was so blind when I was pro-choice.

The thinking is that we did everything to prevent pregnancy, so why are we pregnant? But we didn’t do everything to prevent pregnancy because if we had, we wouldn’t be pregnant. What? What’s that? It’s called abstinence.

Women and men, don’t be surprised if you’re having sex and get pregnant. It’s called biology.

Patriarchy & the Church

Did you notice that Alyssa looks at the Catholic church, and therefore the Pope, as male oppression? The same could be said of Protestant churches that do not allow female pastors. This is certainly how I felt.

Again, I find this ironic, because if Christians were actually not having sex outside of marriage, then Alyssa wouldn’t think that what Pope Paul VI said in Humanae Vitae (1968) or what Pope John Paul II said in Theology of the Body (1979-1984) favored men rather than women.

And no, I’m not Catholic.

When the Holy Spirit first tapped on my shoulder (on my first Uganda mission trip) about speaking boldly about abortion, I had just said to two male pastors, “Women don’t want to hear this message from men. You don’t understand. There’s no way you can understand. Women need to hear from women.”

So, we women need to speak up. And when we do, we need to be clear that we have not been convinced by “male oppressors” but instead by scientific research.

And men, you need to talk to men because their influence is much larger than the pro-choice movement is willing to admit. Teach men to be men, to step up, to provide, to be responsible, to father well.

Sex is the responsibility of both men and women.

  • Both have a choice.
  • Both are smart enough to realize that even 1% ineffectiveness can result in pregnancy.
  • Both have a responsibility to provide for the child they helped to create.

Me Too, Alyssa. Sorry, Not Sorry.

Alyssa ended her podcast saying, “I, for one, will never stop using my voice. Sorry, not sorry.”

Yeah, me too, Alyssa—not that I have your pretty face, your slim figure, or your Hollywood credentials, for I am just a woman who listens to both sides, discusses rather than rants, reasons with others out of love rather than self-justification, and who votes her values.

I vote for abundant life not just for babies, but for women.

My body. My choice. It’s my body, and with it I will worship the Lord.

MybodyMyworshipBROWN

In Christ,

Cheryl

P.S. The video at the top of the FOX news article is from May 2019 and is demeaning—please don’t applaud FOX or Tucker Carlson for that awful interview with Mark Steyn. We don’t win this battle by belittling but through love.