A Different Kind of #ShoutYourAbortion Movement

#Shoutyourabortion claims that abortion is no big deal because everyone does it. The truth is that 92% of post-abortive women experience emotional deadening.

Dear Christian Sisters,

Let me start by apologizing for not writing to you for so many months. I have been absent from my blog because I’ve been walking through more life tests. Although the Lord has been faithful to lead me through these tests, my ability to hear His will for this blog has been muffled.

Until this morning.

Early Morning Quiet Time with God

Until today, I have been sleeping in over the summer, having my quiet time with the Lord after breakfast. Lately, I’ve been struggling to get back on my early morning schedule because I am a night person. However, I know that my early morning prayer time makes the school year go so much more smoothly, so I need to get back on track.

This morning, though, I had no problem waking up. No coffee needed! The Lord woke me up at 5:30 am with very clear messages for this blog, so I am writing to you to tell you all that He impressed on my heart.

Writing about Abortion from the Woman’s Perspective

One of the things that I’ve been doing amidst the hardest test of late (which I will tell you about in another post) is writing my memoir. I am editing it now and plan to publish this fall.

Three Books In Process

The first of three books, my memoir is currently titled One Face of Abortion. Books two and three will be Faces of Abortion, Book One and Faces of Abortion, Book Two (with an awesome subtitle that I am not yet revealing).Future books by Cheryl Krichbaum

Whereas the first book is my abortion story (well, really it’s my full testimony), books two and three will contain many abortion stories from repentant Christian women. Why? Because you need to hear the devastating effects of abortion on women and the lies and life circumstances that led them to abort. To be effective in how we minister to abortion-minded women, we need to better understand them.

(Would you be willing to let me tell your story in one of my books? You may be anonymous, if you’d like. If you’ll allow me to interview you, please contact me through MybodyMyworship!)

The intent is not to celebrate our abortions—far from it! The intent is to tell the truth about the devastating effects of abortions on our lives.

The #ShoutYourAbortion Movement Is a Lie

The #shoutyourabortion movement is about removing the stigma of abortion for women who are still trying to justify their “choice.”

The lie of the #shoutyourabortion movement is that abortion is a good thing or at least that it’s no big deal.#ShoutYourAbortion is a lie

The truth is that abortion has devastating effects on women’s psyches and our spiritual lives.

Spiritual lives? But pro-choice women aren’t Christians, you say–Not all true!

  • 35% of women were attending a Christian church once a month or more at the time of their first abortion.
  • 27% of post-abortive women identify as Catholic.
  • 26% of post-abortive women identify as Protestant.
  • 15% of post-abortive women identify as nondenominational. (Care Net 2016)

Further, many post-abortive women, whether they identify as Christian or not, don’t think that they can set foot in a church. I don’t have statistics, but I keep hearing it:

“God won’t forgive me.”
“I’m not worthy of God’s love.”
“I’m not good enough for church.”

With the pro-life focus on dead babies, we don’t often hear about the psychological effects of abortion on women—the very ones who are making most of the decisions to abort.

It’s time to change that. That’s why I title my blog “Changing the Conversation.” Here are some statistics on the effects of abortion on women:

  • 92% of post-abortive women experience emotional deadening.
  • 86% of post-abortive women experience anger or rage. (Although not in the study, I would add bitterness based on my own experience.)
  • 86% of post-abortive women fear others finding out.
  • 82% of post-abortive women experience intense feelings of loneliness or isolation.
  • 63% of post-abortive women experience denial.
  • 58% of post-abortive women battle nightmares.
  • 56% of post-abortive women develop suicidal feelings.
  • 53% of post-abortive women engage in drug abuse.
  • 39% of post-abortive women have eating disorders.
  • (See “Medical Reports” in Citations.)

I experienced emotional deadening. I called myself the walking dead long before the TV show aired. I was bitter. I feared others finding out. I lost my joy.

Post-Abortive Men Feel It, Too

Further, we are on the tip of the iceberg, so to speak, on the devastating effects of abortion on post-abortive men—the very ones who supported or even pressured women to abort. A woman’s sex partner is the number one influencer on her decision (see the Care Net study). That was true for me, too.

I look forward to hearing from post-abortive, repentant Christian men.

Need a New Hashtag

It’s time for us to speak up! Perhaps we need a new hashtag! Is #speakuppostabortiveChristians too long?

In Christ,

Cheryl

PS. If you or someone you know has had an abortion and is hiding in shame, find a Christian pregnancy center or church near you that offers an abortion healing class. Search Care Net for a pregnancy center. Two abortion healing curricula are Surrendering the Secret (this is the one that I did) and Forgiven and Set Free (which my friend did).

Citations:

Care Net. “Study of Women Who Have Had an Abortion & Their Views on Church.” 2016.

“Medical Reports/Women’s Health/Abortion…Is There a Connection?” from noelforlife.org

Announcing MybodyMyworship!

Dear Christian Sisters,

I had the privilege of being interviewed on the radio about my new ministry, MybodyMyworship. When the audio recording becomes available, I’ll share it with you, but in the meantime, here is the transcript.

Katharine: I’m Katharine Wang and you’re listening Radio Fairfax in Fairfax, VA. This is Keys to Spiritual Growth. Today we’re going to answer listener questions live on the radio.

But first a reminder that you’re listening to Radio Fairfax, Fairfax, VA. Cablecast on Cox and Verizon FIOS Channel 37 and Comcast channel 27 in Reston, VA. Webcast worldwide on the internet at www.radiofairfax.org.Katharine Wang on the radio

We’re live once a month answering questions about God and the Bible. I like to think of it as the type of question you’d like to ask God if you could pull up and chair and maybe grab a cup of tea and ask him something. We take questions in advance and also live right now. The call in number is 703-560-TALK. That’s 703-560-8255. Or on Facebook at facebook.com/mbministries.

Katharine: I’m here with my friend Lorelei, who’s going to tell us what questions we’ve received from listeners this past month. Lorelei, you couldn’t be with us last month. It’s good to have you back.

Lorelei: It’s good to be back.

Katharine: Before you tell us the first question from listeners, did I tell you we have two special guests on the show?

Lorelei: You did. I’m excited about meeting them.

Katharine: Yes, Cheryl Krichbaum is here with Michele Bair. Cheryl is the founder of a new ministry called My body My worship, which I’m excited to hear about. Michele is going to be part of this ministry, too.

Lorelei: Welcome to Keys to Spiritual Growth with Katharine Wang. We’re excited to have you on the show today.

Cheryl: We’re excited to be here.

Katharine: So Cheryl, you grew up in Minnesota going to church with your family, but it was more of a tradition that you did and you didn’t really believe Christianity or have its power.

Cheryl: Yeah, I didn’t understand what Christ’s sacrifice was about. I knew all the Bible stories, but I didn’t understand what they meant for me. When life got difficult, I turned my back on church and on God then made some pretty big mistakes. I became even more bitter against God. But then I met a man who wasn’t scared away by my life. In retrospect, I can see that he was showing me what the love of Christ was like. To make a long story short, he prayed for me, I accepted Christ, and then we got married.

Katharine: Let’s fast forward. Tell us about your trip to Africa.

Cheryl: I was in Uganda just over a year ago on a short-term mission trip. I had taught your Bible studies to children and had met a 5-year-old boy with Down Syndrome. That night I was asking one of the pastors about special needs children in Uganda and Africa which led to a discussion about abortion. The pastor said that he preaches on how our words often send women to have abortions. And that’s when I knew I needed to change the conversation about abortion.

Cheryl Krichbaum on the radioKatharine: So you realized that the way the church talks about abortion can be damaging to women? How should the conversation change?

Cheryl: The pro-life movement usually talks about babies, trying to convince the abortion-minded that killing babies is wrong–and it is wrong. But the pro-choice movement is talking about women and women’s rights, not babies. Women choose abortion because they think it’s best for themselves. We are ego-centric people and Millenials even more so. We need to have conversations about women and the psychological damage that results from abortion. If they are Christians, then we also need to talk about the spiritual darkness they plunge themselves into when they have abortions. We need to have loving conversations that draw women into life–physically and spiritually.

Katharine: So women-centered, eternally-focused conversations about abortion. I like that. This topic has a personal interest to you, doesn’t it?

Cheryl: Yes, when life got difficult and I left the church and God, I went looking for love elsewhere. I spent more time with my boyfriend than in my parents’ home because life was difficult at home but pleasant with my boyfriend. Not surprisingly, I got pregnant. Because I didn’t want the shame of pregnancy in high school and because I wanted to stay on track with my education, I had an abortion. And then I made more bad choices, like living with my boyfriend, buying a house with him, and eventually marrying him even though I knew deep inside that I shouldn’t have. That marriage ended in divorce. And, by the way, I still had the shame of pregnancy in high school, and my education was not completed on schedule.

Katharine: What a powerful personal story. And now you’re founding a ministry called My Body My Worship. How is your work different from what other pro-life groups do?

Cheryl: We battle abortion in a way different than all other pro-life ministries–through true worship and teaching the nations all that Jesus commanded (Romans 12:1, Matthew 28:20). We do this through women’s conferences and social media posts.

Our mission is to inspire spiritual acts of worship by teaching biblically sound science of sexual integrity and psychological effects of abortion–based on Romans 12:1-2 and 1 Corinthians 6:12-20.

Katharine: Michele, that’s where you come in. You’ve been a worshipper and a worship leader at your church for more than 20 years.

Michele: Yes, one thing I’ve learned in over 20 years of leading worship is that our bodies, souls, and spirits are intertwined. When we worship, it washes out our spirits and souls. It’s like taking a spiritual shower. All the filth and grime of the day washes off, and we’re filled with God’s presence.

Katharine: And you’ve named the ministry My body my worship? Why?

Cheryl: The pro-choice movement says, “My body. My choice.” We say that it’s our choice to worship with our bodies. As Michele says, our worship and our bodies are intertwined. There are many ways to worship–with hymns, on our knees, with lifted hands, even dancing. But the New Testament believer should also worship with their whole bodies in a Levitical sense, meaning that they should be pure before the Lord.

We get this from Romans 12:1, which says: Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.

Michele: We are also using worship as King Jehoshaphat in the Bible did to defeat his enemies. In 2 Chronicles 20, we see that the kingdom of Judah was about to be attacked by many enemies. King Jehoshaphat immediately went to the Lord. He called the country to pray and fast. Then he sent out a worship team ahead of the army. And GOD defeated their enemies.

Cheryl: We too are at war–spiritual war. Women (and men, but most obviously women) are under attack–even from other women. Women are fooled into thinking that abortion is no big deal. We are fooled into believing that we can have safe sex outside of marriage. We abort in order to avoid the shame of being caught pregnant out of wedlock, and then we hide our abortions because we are ashamed.

Katharine: A lot of people think of abortion as a political issue. But you don’t. Explain.

Cheryl: We don’t think God sees abortion as a political issue. When you embrace Daniel chapter 4, you can’t help but realize that God is in control of who is in office. I do believe that God is unhappy with His Christian nation legalizing abortion, so yes, we need to de-fund Planned Parenthood and reverse Roe v Wade.

But God is unhappy with our hearts and is waiting for us, for Christians, to act like Christ. The real victory in this spiritual war is saving eternal lives of abortion-minded women and men here in the United States and around the world. The Church is bigger than our country and so is spiritual war.

So, we’re going to battle by worshipping through music, lifted hands, etc. and by teaching what both the Bible and science say about abortion and about sex.

Katharine: That’s intriguing. Both the Bible and science.

Cheryl: Yes, both the Bible and science because scientific research supports all the biblical laws about sex–Which is no surprise, right? since God created science.

Katharine: Can you tell me just one thing scientific research has found that supports what the Bible says about sex and abortion?

Cheryl: The hormones that are activated in us when we have sex bond us with our partner. So when people have heterosexual or homosexual sex, they feel bonded to that person. The Bible says, the two shall become one, which is reiterated in 1 Corinthians 6:12-20. When women break that bond, their emotions are affected and often they become depressed or develop anxiety. When men break that bond, they often become jealous ex-boyfriends.

Katharine: Wow. So our bodies were physically designed to operate best when we make a marriage connection to just one person. Alright, shifting gears a little, I’d love to hear what you would say to a woman who has an unplanned pregnancy right now who is thinking about an abortion?

Cheryl: When I had my abortion, I plunged myself into darkness. Even before there was a TV show called “The Walking Dead,” I described myself as the walking dead. I looked alive. I acted happy. But I wasn’t. I was dead inside. When you choose death for what is growing inside of you, you also choose death for yourself and Satan wins. God loves you so much that He doesn’t want the pain of abortion for you.

Katharine: What would you say to a young woman thinking about having sex before getting married?

Michele: As young women, we were told it’s OK to have sex as long as you use birth control. Today they called it “safer” sex. But the Bible doesn’t say that it’s okay to have sex if we use birth control. God says the only way to fully experience the beauty that He made sex to be is to have it with just the one person of the opposite sex to whom you are married. In fact, sex outside marriage is so dangerous–both physically and spiritually–it can scar our bodies, emotions, and spirits forever. Until we ask Jesus to heal those wounds.

Cheryl: The biggest advantage of sexual purity, of course, is obeying God–this is your spiritual act of worship (Romans 12:1) and your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). When our spirits are pure, we can hear more clearly from the Lord and become like spiritual superheroes. Nothing is impossible for us spiritually. When we live with sin, it’s like Superman meets kryptonite. Sin drains our spiritual power. Sex outside of marriage makes us weaklings spiritually. We can’t hear God, and we can be easily defeated. Sexual purity gives us spiritual super-strength. It keeps our emotions free of deep wounds.

But it also keeps our physical bodies free of so many diseases. For example, HPV is so prevalent now that we have a vaccine for it. Women are biologically more susceptible to HPV than men and get it even if the condom works perfectly.

We need to change the conversation about abortion. We need to talk about abortion and sex more in church than in politics. We need to teach our generation and the generations after us. This is not a young person’s issue. This is a heart issue of all the generations. All the generations need healing. And in a 2 Chronicles 7:14 way, all generations need to repent and seek God’s face if we want revival–and we believe our conferences will spark revival.

Katharine: What about a woman who has already had an abortion, like yourself, Cheryl? What would you say to someone like you?

Cheryl: Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). If we want life, if we want to stop being the walking dead, then we have to accept Jesus’ love for us. I chose Christ and then later admitted to Him that I was wrong to have an abortion. And He immediately washed away my sins, and I felt clean and alive. You can have that freedom, too. Start with Psalm 51 and then contact your local pregnancy center for a post-abortion healing class. You can also seek a healing ministry or attend one of our conferences.

Katharine: I’ve never had an abortion, but I lost two children in utero, so I understand the guilt and feelings of loss that we feel anytime we lose a pregnancy. And I can also tell you that our children are with God. I believe I will spend eternity with them. And they always have a place in our hearts. Their short lives served a purpose here even if they were never born.

Cheryl: Yes. And our babies love us and forgive us. They are in heaven waiting for their moms. And those babies whose moms do not know Christ are crying. We Christians have got to share the Gospel with post-abortive women so that those babies are consoled and reconciled some day with their mothers in heaven.

Katharine: Amazing work you’re both doing Cheryl and Michele. If someone wanted to find out more about your work, how could they do it?

Cheryl: Our website is MybodyMyworship.org. We’re also on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. We also do MybodyMyworship conferences at churches. You can find out information about how to get involved or how to bring a conference to your church on our website. We honestly believe that worshipping the Lord in this way will spark revival.

Katharine: It’s been a delight to have you on our show today.

Cheryl: Thank you for having us!

In Christ,

Cheryl

Worshipping thru Life’s Challenges

Dear Christian Sisters,

How do you handle life’s challenges?

If you’ve read my testimony (see the links on the “About” page), then you know that both of my siblings have schizophrenia. The first time schizophrenia affected my life, I turned away from God and made bad, life-changing decisions, including abortion.

The second time schizophrenia affected my life, I pressed into God and learned how not to worry.

Thirteen years later—one-and-a-half years ago—my brother disappeared from his apartment in the Twin Cities. My mom and I live on the east cost. My dad lives in Minnesota. But we were on the phone together, heartbroken.

I wasn’t worried. Honestly, I wasn’t. I remember taking an inventory of my feelings because I can still today be detached. I was heartbroken. Just heartbroken. I guess I truly did learn not to worry.

“And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?”
Matthew‬ ‭6:27‬ ‭NASB‬‬

We searched. We followed paper trails. We contacted people. But we couldn’t find my brother.

What could I do but praise God?

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalms‬ ‭118:24‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name.
Hebrews‬ ‭13:15‬ ‭NASB‬‬

I praised God by singing the “Doxology”:

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!
Praise Him, all creatures here below!
Praise Him above, ye heavenly hosts!
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost!
Amen.

I remembered the “Doxology” from my church upbringing. Singing it brought me peace. I made it my go-to praise song.

I was still crying. I would sing while crying.

Then I remembered “The Lord’s Prayer” in song. My dad used to sing it. He really likes a version with an African beat, but I like Malotte’s, which is what I remember him singing when I was young.

I found a phenom, Jackie Evancho, on YouTube who sings “The Lord’s Prayer’ beautifully and pretty much in my range. I listened to it over and over. And when no one else was in the car, I sang along with her.

While crying.

Can you guess what I felt?

I felt peace! Peace that passes all understanding.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians‬ ‭4:6-7‬ ‭NASB‬‬

I was still sad. I was still heartbroken. But I trusted that the Lord was watching over my brother.

In the last year-and-a-half, the Lord has called me into His plan for my life. It was if the Lord said, “Okay, good. You understand how to respond to life’s difficulties. Now, pick up your cross and follow me.”

God sent me to Uganda on a short-term mission trip. While there, He convicted me that I needed to change the conversation about abortion.

In the last year, He has sent me to speak on abortion and sex outside of marriage both here and in Uganda.

Then He gave me the name of His new ministry: MybodyMyworship and told me what it’s to look like. (Find @MybodyMyworship on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.)

I learned to obey Him in this last year-and-a-half. I learned to worship him in all circumstances.

Honestly, I am on fire for the Lord. I’m so on fire for the Lord that I am annoying to my friends. They are going through difficulties, real and big difficulties. My encouragement? Sing a praise song.

But guess what? Life is still difficult at my house, too.

So, I have to take my own advice and sing a praise song. Sometimes I turn on Christian radio in every room of the house to shower my house with praise.

And the atmosphere changes.

Then three weeks ago, something amazing happened. I got a phone call from a psychiatric hospital that is an hour away from me here on the east coast. My brother is there!

My brother left the Twin Cities on his own accord and ended up one hour away from me.

God.

God did that. Only God could do that.

Things are not perfect. It’s not like my brother is suddenly healed of schizophrenia. But he has a roof over his head, he has clothes, and he has food for the time being.

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!

I continue to pray for my brother’s complete healing. I praise God as we wait to see if my brother will make good decisions or become homeless again.

I praise God because it’s good for my soul.

What’s your go-to praise song?

In Christ,

Cheryl